Coming up short

I missed it. With only 22% left to hit Lieutenant General, or Rank 11, I missed it by 2%. I knew I had my work cut out for me when Discovery Travel & Living sent me an e-mail last week and I had to spend four or five days working on my vlog. I tried to grind the last two days in a desperate attempt to make 250k honor (I had 41k on Wednesday, which was the last day I played) in two days which I felt would've pushed me to the next rank. I managed to grind out 91k on Monday, but fell short on Tuesday because... sigh. I don't know. I could've made it. I know I could've made it if I played two or three more hours. But I had to take breaks to avoid infuriating Niisha. Now I'm short by a mere 2%.

I can't explain how utterly depressing that is. Niisha says it's fine and that I'm assured of Lt.Gen. this week. But I already know that. I thought I was assured Lt.Gen. last week. Making rank is a very fulfilling way to keep on grinding. On the other hand, falling short is very, very, very disheartening. Finally getting my Black War Wolf would've made the grind worth it. That's why Centurion is such a crap rank. There's nothing to look forward to but a stupid battle standard. If I had known I wouldn't make it, I wouldn't have ground out the last two days and should've just taken it easy. It's my fault. I shouldn't have napped. I napped twice. Maybe I should've played while my video was rendering. I don't know. Two or three hours somewhere during the week would've done it. Now I have to grind again, and I won't even get to enjoy my epic mount with Niisha, who suspended her account temporarily until she gets employment.

Sigh. It's 4am in the morning and I can't sleep. I keep thinking about how I should've put in a few games throughout the week just to move forward by 2%. I don't want to log on to WoW, either, because seeing that 98% on my progress bar makes me absolutely sick. It's ironic because I know I have to log in and grind otherwise I'll drop rank, which will be even worse. I'm so angry and frustrated right now I can't explain it. Last Monday, I was at the INXS presscon and was supposed to be the next person in line when the organizers said they'd take only one more question. It was so frustrating considering some of the writers asked the dumbest, most useless questions. Sigh. It's like missing the train by a few seconds after stopping to tie your shoelaces going up the stairs. I can't begin to explain how absolutely frustrated I am. To anyone who's ever ground for rank, this is laughable. I'm only Rank 10, after all. Learn2grind. I just needed to let it out. Now, hopefully, maybe, I can sleep.